...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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