does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
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