i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
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He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
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Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
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