This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
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It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
As shirtless as possible
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
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If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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