from now on my penis is your penis
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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