i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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