Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize