I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
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She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
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i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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