I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize