first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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