why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
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apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
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He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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