I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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