Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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