So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
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What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
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You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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