they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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