i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize