i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize