Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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