i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I just threw up on my dentist
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
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