He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
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I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
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Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Never underestimate the power of titties
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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