Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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