I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize