Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
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