Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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