He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
sex in a hospital.. check
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
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