whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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