are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
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You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
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for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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