I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize