Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
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Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
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