Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
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New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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