I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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