that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
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I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
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Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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