just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize