You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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