Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize