my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
the raccoons are back...
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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