Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize