So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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