just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
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Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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