Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize