Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
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Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
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And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Your penis caused this!
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