You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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