It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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