I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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