I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize