Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
the gays at disneyland are vicious
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize