girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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