that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
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Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
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Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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