all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
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