Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
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I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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